When you put your shoes on in the morning, you slacken off the laces a bit, fit your foot in there, wiggle it about, then pull the laces tight enough to hold your shoe on. Some people like to have them on snugly, nice and tight, others like a looser fit. After a mile or so, you may well loosen them because they are too tight, or tighten them because they are too loose. You walk another mile, and maybe you make another adjustment, maybe it takes you five miles before you need to fiddle.
Inevitably, the further you walk, the looser your shoes become.
For me, this is a useful analogy for relationships. The longer the journey, the more attention you need to pay to how tight your laces are. At the start of your journey, the effort you put in at the beginning may be holding it all together, and whilst things are comfortable now, you will need to adjust at some point.
You may even find the shoe does‘t fit, in which case, change it, before you damage yourself.
For a long journey, you need to keep tightening those bindings that keep the shoe on. The problem is, old shoes can be comfortable, and you may not notice the laces coming undone. Eventually, you will trip and fall, or your shoe will come right off your foot.
Thanks to Tim King for use of the photograph.
As a final thought, if your shoe does come off, comfort yourself with this truth: the person you were when you started your relationship has gone, you’ve moved on by as many years as your relationship existed. Similarly, for your partner. A ten year relationship means a combined personality divergence of twenty years! Are you the same people you were 20 years ago? I doubt it.